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Our close companions for over two decades, a person who's overcome many obstacles, her resilience is commendable. However, she's repeatedly blindsided in relationships. Her spouse ended their marriage, which came as a massive blow. Many of her friends vanished at that point, since they had been only interested in him. It shocked her deeply. She put in more effort in our friendship, likely grasped better the essence of true friendship.

Ongoing Issues In Relationships

Throughout this period, many close to her have drifted apart without her being certain of the reason. Her previous job became hostile, even though she was very skilled at her work, her exit happened not understanding the reason for the change.

Present Situation

Recently, both of us left the workforce leading to more each other more, however, I feel my position in the relationship is to listen. I start topics of conversation only for her to redirect them to things she cares about. Regarding political views, she holds strong opinions. I try to recommend factchecking or other angles.

She is planning a holiday to a nation I have traveled to repeatedly even called home for some time. I tried to share insights, however, my input unappreciated. She purely just desired me to confirm her choices. I recently ended a month in that place and she wants to meet, but I don't.

Evaluating the Situation

I don't want to act as a friend that walks away abruptly, but I don't think she will ever understand the impact of how she acts on my self-esteem. Right now, I find myself in avoidance mode. How should I proceed?

Potential Solutions

You could walk away, however, that approach is seldom the peaceful resolution that we desire. Yet having a direct talk with a view to working things out requires bravery and readiness on both your parts.

Professional advice indicates trying a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"Step one is to state how things go in your conversations. Aim for this to be objective and clear and basically what a recording device would replay. Next involves sharing the way it makes you feel. There should be no argument here. Emotions are valid, after all. Step three is to question how you are both can shift the dynamics between you."

Remember she too has her own side, meaning you must to be prepared to hear that. One effective method is to say her:

"Please share your thoughts and I'm going to listen without interrupting for half an hour."

It's remarkably effective for promoting understanding.

Closing Considerations

Your friend could ignore everything, as some people hold onto a deep-seated story: they rely on a version regarding their experiences they're unable to let go of since their identity relies on it and it's all they've known. This is difficult because there's no easy route here, only cul-de-sacs. But she may initially present this way and then think on your words. And should you never reach an agreement, it will give you satisfaction from having been open and direct.