🔗 Share this article

The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it comes like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest helping her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an audience. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my method of offering access, giving her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we create together can get us: an opening. I understand not everyone likes being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private filmmaker, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was filming a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some real experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?